Works Every Time
by Do Not Even Try
Summary: “Ryan, let go of me! I don't have your stupid socks!” Continuation of Kidnapped Socks. MileyxJake


**A/n: This is a short little continuation of my oneshot "Kidnapped Socks". I usually resent the idea of doing this, but I couldn't resist ) So yea, hope you enjoy. And if you haven't read "Kidnapped Socks" I don't think this will make much sense. lol This takes place about nine or ten months after "Kidnapped Socks".  
**

**Disclaimer: See "Kidnapped Socks". **

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"Ryan, _let go of me! _I don't have your stupid socks!"

Jake Ryan frowned and shoved Jesse McCartney against the wall.

"Yes you do! You kidnapped them!" Jake screamed.

"You're wack!" Jesse yelled. He turned his head to the very pregnant woman sitting in the corner and yelled, "Your husband is crazy!"

She inspected her nails as she rested a hand on top of her stomach, "Yes, I know."

Jake pushed Jesse, "Don't talk to her, you sock-stealer!"

"_I didn't steal your socks!_" Jesse screamed.

"Yes you did! I've missed three hundred and eight filming days so that means...you've stolen two hundred and three pairs of my socks!"

The brunette in the corner took a sip of her drink, hiding her mischievous smile.

"I have not! I did not steal your socks!" Jesse yelled, anger making his face red.

"Yes! You sneak in, and steal the pair I need! And sometimes if I'm lucky I wake up and find them back in the drawer!" Jake demanded.

"This is so stupid! I'm not listening to your mindless rants anymore! I don't even know why I came over! The last time I did it was because you "had proof" I was a transvestite! Well, I'm not, and I didn't steal your damn socks!"

Jesse grabbed his coat and made way to the door.

"Wait! You aren't going anywhere until you give me my socks!" Jake screamed, pointing an accusing finger at Jesse.

"My God! I don't have your socks!"

"I'm suing you!" Jake screamed, "I'm suing you if you don't give me back my socks!"

Jesse looked at him incredulously, "Yea, that's going to work! You try and sue me for taking two hundred socks from you and see how far you get!"

Jake jumped up and punched the air in victory, "So you _did_steal my socks! You admitted it!"

"NO!" Jesse's eyes suddenly veered to the silently laughing woman sitting in the corner.

"Maybe you should ask your wife what happened to the socks." Jesse glared.

Miley put on an innocent face, "Me?"

"Don't try and blame her for your sins!"

"But I didn't—

"Sinner!"

"You are so—

"_SINNER_!"

"God, I can't even—

"SINNER, SINNER, SINNER!"

"WOULD YOU SHUT UP?! I DIDN'T TAKE YOUR SOCKS! YOUR WIFE DID! SHE'S OVER THERE WITH THAT GUILTY LOOK, LAUGHING TO HERSELF!!"

Miley didn't even try to stop the laughter.

Jake turned to her, "Is that true, Miley?"

"What? How can you—

"Traitor!"

"What? Let me say—

"TRAITOR!"

She put on a extremely hurt face, "Excuse me? Traitor? How can you accuse the mother of your daughter and unborn son of stealing your favorite socks? I'm appalled, and frankly, I'm insulted!"

Jake rounded on Jesse, "Stop making me make her mad at me!"

Jesse rolled his eyes, "This is INSANITY!"

"Yes, you are!"

"I didn't say I—

"Insane!"

"Would you just--

"_Insane!" _

"I'm leaving. That's it. I'm gone!" Jesse screamed.

"WAIT!" Jake screamed. He turned slowly to his innocent looking wife.

"Actually, now that I think about it, you were laughing pretty evilly over there..."

She blinked and widened her eyes in innocence, "It's the hormones. Make me do crazy stuff."

He ignored, "And the other day when I was changing the sheet I found my Episode 3 of Season 3 socks underneath your side of the mattress!"

Her eyes widened.

"HA! Caught, traitor!" Jake said. She shook her head, her face contorted with pain,

"My God, I'm going into labor!" She cried. Jake nearly had a heart attack. He jumped up and ran in a complete circle before screaming,

"WHAT DO I DO?!"

Miley said, "Go get Colette and my bag. Hurry! He's coming _fast_!"

Jake ran up the stairs, tripping the whole way. Once he was out of sight, Miley smiled and hopped off the stool.

"Works every time."

Jesse stared at her in disbelief, "You're all insane! That's it, I'm gone!"

With that, he grabbed his coat and rushed out of the house.

Ten minutes later, Jake came downstairs holding a sleeping little girl and a bag. He looked at his perfectly content wife. She smiled apologetically,

"False alarm?"

He groaned and trudged up the stairs with Colette and the bag for the thirty-second time in his life.


End file.
